Tips for self care

It seems so obvious: looking after ourselves should be at or close to the top of our list of priorities. Our health and wellbeing has a huge influence on the quality of our lives and effects our ability to do almost everything else. It seems like a no-brainer, yet it’s amazing how many of us struggle to look after ourselves well. Tell us we have to organise the kids school uniforms, make sure we give the dog his medicine, or that our elderly parents are properly cared for and it goes immediately to the top of our to-do list. But when it comes to making sure that we are healthy and well looked after it suddenly seems like a much more trying task. If, like many of us, you struggle to look after yourself you might find these top tips from our qualified psychotherapists useful.


1 - Journaling. Here at Evolve we’re big fans of journaling, just taking fifteen minutes a day to write about what we’ve been doing, our thoughts and feelings can make a big difference to how we see ourselves, our life and how we are coping. The reason that it works so well is that it allows us to look a little more objectively at our feelings, thoughts and actions. Journaling can encourage an inner dialogue between the different aspects of ourselves, helping us step back and reframe aspects that may be causing stress. This can be a positive first step in creating psychological and emotional space for yourself. 


2 - Rest. It sounds obvious, but proper rest and relaxation is vital to self-care. Nowadays there is so much competition for our attention that we can easily find ourselves staying up late night after night watching movies, playing video games, or scrolling through our phone. Achieving good sleep for mental, emotional and physiological recuperation can feel like a difficult task to achieve. What we need to do is switch our brains from a state of intentional focussed beta waves, to a more relaxed alpha wave state. Looking at screens makes this switch difficult, so good sleep hygiene can be important in helping to achieve this. This might include switching off laptops or TV a while before going to bed, switching phones off, or leaving them in a separate room while we sleep. A comfortable and tidy bed and bedroom can also promote a feeling of restfulness. Many people find that mindfulness meditation can be a useful tool to assist with relaxation and anxiety reduction. There are many wonderful Apps to choose from providing guided mindful meditation. 


3 - Exercise. Taking regular exercise can help with our self care in a number of ways. It can keep us fit and healthy, reducing the risk of certain illnesses, while also boosting our mood through post exercise endorphins. Obviously there are lots of different types of exercise, from cycling, yoga or swimming, to rock climbing, hillwalking or just hitting the gym. Finding something that you enjoy makes it much easier to maintain the habit during times when we’re busy or are lacking in motivation, so it’s worth trying a range of activities. Tips for keeping up our commitment can include, planning our times in advance, buddying up with a friend, or joining a class or club.


4 - Food. Food can be a great source of comfort, so when we’re feeling tired or low it’s easy to fall into a habit of eating badly, or overeating. Planning healthier meals in advance can stop us from grabbing a takeaway or snacking when we come home late or are busy. Also trying to eat mindfully, being aware of portion size, and when we are feeling full, can help us to develop a healthier relationship with food.


5 - Social life. As humans we are evolved to be in relationship to others, it’s often essential to our good mental health and wellbeing. But relationships can also feel trying or stressful at times. Finding the right balance of fun, security and healthy boundaries can be difficult, but allows us to make the most of relationships. Many of us find that speaking to a friend or therapist can help us navigate our relationships and make the most of them.


6 - Self soothing. At times we all feel a little beaten down by life. The way we respond to these feelings can make a big difference to our overall wellbeing. Maladaptive self soothing involves behaviours that we undertake to make ourselves feel better which can be harmful to us in the long run. Examples might include binge eating, drinking alcohol to excess, overspending, gambling etc. Healthier versions of self soothing include things that are beneficial such as taking a bath, reading a book, or meditating. If you’re prone to maladaptive self-soothing it can be useful to explore healthier versions and plan how to unhook from the habit in advance. 


7 - Nature. In a recent study of 20,000 people, a team led by Mathew White of the European Centre for Environment & Human Health at the University of Exeter, found that people who spent two hours a week in green spaces — local parks or other natural environments, either all at once or spaced over several visits — were substantially more likely to report good health and psychological well-being than those who don’t. Organising your time so you can get outside, even just to sit on a park bench at lunchtime or walk round a green space can benefit us.

8 - Play. British psychiatrist Jeremy Holmes created a structure to understand the different domains of our inner world, one such area is the domain of Play. As adults this can be viewed as humour, adventure, exploration, creativity and sexuality. It is easy to let work and chores dominate our lives but it is important for our health to make time for fun. Sometimes if work is taking up all out time and energy looking at our boundaries in our work / life balance can help.

9 - Mental Health. Obviously our overall mental health is a key part of self care, and a huge factor in how we experience our life and the world. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues it’s important to make a plan to deal with it. The above tips can be helpful, initially visiting your GP to discuss how you’re feeling and look at the options available to you might be a good place to start. You might also be interested in exploring the possibility of psychotherapy or counselling. 

If you or anyone else you know needs support to deal with mental health problems the following organisations provide support:



sarah woodcock